It’s that time of year again… Michael Bublé playing on the radio, cool air blowing the leaves off the trees, twinkle lights all around. It is a common belief that people are supposed to be happy around the holidays. You see it all over social media – a newly engaged couple picking out their Christmas tree, a group of friends ice skating at the local rink, a family laughing together over dinner. All the posts consist of smiles and laughter, and everything is so bright and cheery. But is it really that way?

It is quite common for people to experience sadness and loneliness around the holidays. An elderly woman living alone in a nursing home, facing her first holiday season without her husband. A set of empty-nesters, with all their children spread out across the country. A young boy who lost his father last Christmas… there are many people that experience sadness around the holidays. For some, the holidays can be a reminder of negative past experiences and traumas. Social media only helps to reiterate this sense of loneliness, because people often compare their lives to the highlight reel of other’s lives. They place too high of an expectation on the holidays and often blame themselves for not feeling a certain way. As rock band 5 Seconds of Summer sings, “Why can’t we choose our emotions?”. If only it were that simple.

It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and know that your feelings are completely valid. You have a right to feel what you feel. Remember to be mindful and accept your feelings, but try not to linger on them too long. Take a break from social media, especially if you are not in a good mood. You may end up making yourself feel worse, especially if you compare yourself to everyone else. The large majority of social media users only post the highlights of their lives. Just because they have multiple photos of their expensive trip to the Maldives or their multiple social gatherings with friends, doesn’t mean they aren’t going through a rough time too. 

Remember that it’s okay to be sad around the holidays. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. Think about sharing these feelings with a loved one. They will want to do what they can to be there for you and support you. It is common for people who feel lonely to isolate themselves. Try to get out of the house if you can. Connect with a close friend, or try a new yoga class. It can be a healthy distraction and you may find yourself focusing less on those negative thoughts when you’re out doing something enjoyable. 

It is okay to not be okay, especially around the holidays. If you are feeling this way, reach out to someone to talk about it. Whether it be a significant other, a friend, a therapist… seek out support. You may be surprised to discover how many others feel exactly as you do.

How to Get Help in San Jose/Los Gatos

The Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center in Silicon Valley (San Jose/Los Gatos) specializes in therapy and counseling with adults, children and teenagers. Click to send an email for more information on how we can help you or your family members improve your outlook.

Silicon Valley Communities We Serve

Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center of Silicon Valley offers evidence-based therapy for Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder near the following Silicon Valley/San Jose communities:

San Jose Therapy Counseling • Saratoga Therapy Counseling • Los Gatos Therapy Counseling • Monte Sereno Therapy Counseling • Cupertino Therapy Counseling • Campbell Therapy Counseling • Mountain View Therapy Counseling • Los Altos Therapy Counseling • Sunnyvale Therapy Counseling • Santa Clara Therapy Counseling

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