Borderline Personality Therapy in San Jose
Build emotional stability and healthier relationships
Borderline Personality Disorder
Understand Deeper Patterns with Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can make emotions and relationships feel unusually intense. You may be highly sensitive to rejection or abandonment, struggle with an unstable sense of yourself, or find that your feelings toward yourself and other people can shift quickly.
Some common patterns include:
- Intense fear of rejection, abandonment, or losing an important relationship.
- Strong emotional reactions that can be difficult to calm.
- Relationships that become intense, conflicted, or unstable.
- Shifting between feeling very close to someone and feeling hurt, angry, or disappointed by them.
- Difficulty maintaining a stable sense of who you are or what you want.
- Feeling empty, ashamed, unlovable, or emotionally overwhelmed.
Laura Johnson, LMFT, LPCC, is a certified CBT and Schema Therapist with expertise in adults with borderline personalitytraits.Clients seek me out across California, including San Jose, San Francisco, Sacramento, Los Angeles, and San Diego, because of my unique approach. Schema therapy for borderline personality is a good fit for adults who are emotionally stable and ready to work on the deeper personality patterns underlying BPD.
Could I Have Borderline Personality Disorder or Traits?
You do not need to experience every symptom of BPD to struggle with borderline personality patterns. Some people have very visible emotional reactions, while others experience much of the distress internally.
You might recognize patterns such as:
- You become extremely anxious when someone important seems distant, upset, or unavailable.
- Small signs of rejection can trigger intense fear, anger, shame, or sadness.
- Your feelings about another person can change dramatically after you feel hurt or disappointed.
- You sometimes aren’t sure who you are, what you want, or how you really feel about yourself.
- You may become angry, withdraw, seek reassurance, or react impulsively when you feel rejected.
- You sometimes experience a persistent feeling of emptiness or loneliness.
What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline personality is a personality disorder characterized by long-standing difficulties with emotion regulation, relationships, identity, and sensitivity to rejection or abandonment.I often think of BPD as involving an emotional system that can become activated very quickly. An interaction that another person experiences as disappointing may feel like profound rejection or abandonment. Once those emotions are activated, it can become difficult to access a more balanced perspective.
Common Symptoms of Borderline Personality
BPD looks different from one person to another, but common patterns can include:
- Strong sensitivity to real or perceived abandonment.
- Intense or unstable relationships.
- An unstable or changing sense of identity.
- Rapidly changing or intense emotions.
- Difficulty calming yourself once emotionally activated.
- Feelings of emptiness.
- Intense anger or difficulty managing anger.
Core Schemas I Often See with Borderline Personality
Schemas are deeply held patterns about yourself, other people, and relationships. They usually develop early and can continue shaping your emotional reactions long after the original circumstances have changed. Not everyone with borderline personality has the same schemas, but several are especially common.
- Abandonment/Instability: You may expect that people you love or depend on will eventually leave, reject you, become unavailable, or stop caring about you. Even small signs of distance can feel threatening and trigger intense fear or distress.
- Mistrust/Abuse: You may expect that other people will eventually hurt, betray, manipulate, deceive, or take advantage of you, making it difficult to feel secure even in close relationships.
- Defectiveness/Shame: You may have a deep sense that something is wrong with you or that you are fundamentally flawed, unlovable, or unacceptable to others.
- Emotional Deprivation: You may expect that other people will not truly understand you, care for you emotionally, or consistently provide the closeness and support you need.
Below are some common core beliefs I hear in people with borderline patterns. Yours may be somewhat different.
| Schema | Core Beliefs / Statements |
|---|---|
| Abandonment / Instability | “People I love eventually leave.” “If someone pulls away, I might lose them.” “I need to know that this relationship is secure.” “I can’t trust that someone will always be there for me.” |
| Mistrust / Abuse | “If I let my guard down, I’ll get hurt.” “People will eventually betray me.” “I need to protect myself before someone takes advantage of me.” |
| Defectiveness / Shame | “Something is wrong with me.” “If people really knew me, they wouldn’t love me.” “I’m not good enough to be loved the way I am.” |
| Emotional Deprivation | “No one really understands what I need.” “Other people won’t be there for me emotionally.” “I never get the love and support I need.” |