In the Boston Globe, I read that four smart and talented students at MIT committed suicide within the past year. Among its efforts to help students cope with stress, MIT is encouraging students to talk about the psychological phenomenon called “impostor syndrome,” the feeling of being a failure despite a record of accomplishment.

What is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is common among high achievers, many of whom discount their successes. As a result, they do not feel confident or deserving inside of themselves even though they are objectively successful and perceived as such by other people. Psychological research done in the early 1980s estimated that two out of five successful people consider themselves impostors and other studies have found that 70 percent of all people feel like impostors at one time or another.

The impostor’s thoughts and feelings can be divided into several categories:

1. Feeling like a fake: You may believe that you do not deserve your success, academic standing or professional position. This is accompanied by a fear of being “found out”, “discovered” or “unmasked.” If you feel this way, you might identify with statements such as: “I have tricked other people into thinking that I am more competent than I really am” or “I am often afraid that others will discover I don’t really know what I am doing.”

2. Attributing success to luck: Another aspect of the impostor syndrome is the tendency to attribute success to luck or to other external reasons and not to your own internal abilities. You may refer to an achievement by saying, “I just got lucky this time” or “it was a fluke” and worry you will not be able to succeed next time. You may think you are just lucky, in the right place at the right time, and that’s why you were chosen for a particular job or role.

3. Discounting Success: The third aspect is a tendency to downplay success and discount it. You may discount an achievement by saying “it is not a big deal” or “it was not important.” For example, a student attending a prestigious university may discount the fact that they were accepted or feel like it was a mistake that they were accepted and that they don’t belong or they aren’t as smart as the other students. Or you may say “I did well because it is an easy class” or “I was promoted because my manager left” instead of attributing it to hard work or intelligence. You may also discount your accomplishments and have a hard time accepting compliments.

4. Dwelling on the Negative: You may notice every time where you think you should have done better or where you made a mistake. On the other hand, you overemphasize minor flaws in your performance. You fail to notice, or fail to put enough importance, on what you did well.

5. Unfair Comparisons: You compare yourself unfavorably to others. Frequently you pick out the most outstanding people in your school, company or field and judge your own performance as inadequate and inferior.

Women and Impostor Syndrome

The term “impostor syndrome” first appeared in an article written by Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes in the 1970s. They observed that many high-achieving women tended to believe they were not intelligent, and that they neither internalized nor accepted their own accomplishments. These individuals attributed their successes to luck rather than skill or talent, and were afraid others would realize they’d been deceived by a fraud.

While both men and women experience impostor syndrome, studies show that women are more often affected. According to Valerie Young, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, boys are raised to bluff and exaggerate. Girls, on the other hand, learn early to distrust their opinions and stifle their voices. Young women learn that they tend to be judged by the highest physical, behavioral and intellectual standards. Perfection becomes the goal, and every flaw, mistake or criticism is internalized—slowly reducing self-confidence.

“A real bias against female competence persists,” says Young. “Being female means you and your work automatically stand a greater chance of being ignored, discounted, trivialized, devalued or otherwise taken less seriously than a man’s.”

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, spoke of her own feelings of insecurity in her best-selling book, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. When Sandberg attended her Phi Beta Kappa induction at Harvard, a woman gave a speech called “Feeling Like a Fraud.” During the talk, Sandberg looked around the room and saw people nodding. “I thought it was the best speech I’d ever heard,” she recalls. “I felt like that (an impostor) my whole life.” At school, Sandberg thought, “I really fooled them.”

Sandberg says, “Many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they feel undeserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achievers, even experts in their fields, women can’t seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are – impostors with limited skills or abilities.”

Originally thought to be more common among women, men, too, can be victims of the imposter style of thinking. Even Albert Einstein suffered from impostor syndrome near the end of his life. A month before his death, he reportedly confided in a friend: “the exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.”

Do I have Impostor Syndrome?

Dr. Valerie Young developed the Impostor Syndrome Quiz (reprinted below). If you answer yes to many of these questions, you may have impostor syndrome:

• Do you secretly worry that others will find out that you’re not as bright and capable as they think you are?
• Do you sometimes shy away from challenges because of nagging self-doubt?
• Do you tend to chalk your accomplishments up to being a “fluke,” “no big deal” or the fact that people just “like” you?
• Do you hate making a mistake, being less than fully prepared or not doing things perfectly?
• Do you tend to feel crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your “ineptness?”
• When you do succeed, do you think, “Phew, I fooled ‘em this time but I may not be so lucky next time.”
• Do you believe that other people (students, colleagues, competitors) are smarter and more capable than you are?
• Do you live in fear of being found out, discovered, unmasked?

Strategies for Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

1) Become aware of your thoughts. Automatic thoughts can be defined as underlying, unquestioned thoughts, which affect how you perceive an event or situation. Realize them for what they are: negative self-talk that has become a habit. Be aware when you engage in thoughts and feelings of an impostor. Awareness is the first step to change and many times we are not aware of our automatic thoughts.

2) Do a reality check. Question your automatic “impostor” thoughts and feelings and try to come up with more balanced thoughts. Understand the difference between your negative thoughts and reality. Identify the critical voice that is doubting your authenticity. It’s not You. Separate yourself from the critical and self-limiting “impostor” voice.

3) Understand the difference between feelings and reality. Some people believe that if they feel something strongly it must be right. “If I feel so stupid, it must mean that I really am stupid.” When you catch yourself thinking in this way, change it to a coping statement of “the fact that I feel stupid does not mean that I really am. It’s a feeling and not reality.”

4) Write down the steps you took to earn the success you achieved. In one column, make a list of what you accomplished on a particular task or project, and in a second column, write the names of people who helped contribute to the success. Come up with realistic responses that give you credit, but also share praise with others who contributed. For example, you could say to yourself, “I’m proud of what I did on that job, and I had the help of a great team.”

4) Replace your negative “impostor” thinking habit by practicing more realistic and helpful self-talk. Remind yourself of how you contributed to your success with thoughts like “I have proven I am capable by…” or “I prepared for this by…” Give yourself credit throughout the day for both major and minor successes. Notice and reframe “yes, but” statement such as “I brought in accounts but she brought in more” to “Even though she brought in more accounts, I brought in many myself.” Focus on your strengths. When you finish a task, you can ask yourself, “What positive qualities do I have that allowed me to do accomplish this?”

5) Be on the lookout for unhelpful coping strategies you engage in to prevent others from evaluating you negatively. For example, if you tend to hold back from sharing your opinions in meetings, take a risk and speak up in a calm and confident way.

6) Celebrate! Give yourself permission to be proud. Let your friends and family praise you. Take some of it in. Let it touch your heart. Being proud of an accomplishment is not the same as being self-centered. After you celebrate, you will probably remember that no matter what you achieved, chances are there is more to do. This can be humbling and healthy, and important to distinguish from the unhealthy internal put-downs.

7) Give yourself a little time to grow into your success, especially if success seemed to come rather easily or quickly. Sometimes you just need time for a new promotion or status to settle in so you can feel like you deserved it and earned it. However, if you think impostor syndrome is keeping you from getting the most out of your life, then you might want to find a therapist to help you work through your thoughts and feelings.

How To Get Help for Impostor Syndrome

The Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center of Silicon Valley offers counseling and therapy for women and men suffering from Impostor Syndrome. We are located in Saratoga on the border of San Jose and Saratoga just 1/2 mile from Highway 85. With our convenient location near highway 85, we serve the Silicon Valley communities of San Jose, Saratoga, Mountain View, Santa Clara, Sunnyvale, Los Gatos, Los Altos, Cupertino and Campbell, CA. Contact us at (408) 384-8404 for more information on how we can help you savor your accomplishments and reduce your feelings of being an impostor at school or work.