Archive for Motivation

Jan
12

New Year, Improved You

by Center Assistant

New Years is a time to reflect on your life and reevaluate the things you want to change or improve. It is easy to come up with a list of goals, but often times those goals are given up on relatively quickly. It is incredibly common for New Years resolutions to be given up on by February. Here are some helpful ways to try and stick to your resolutions and see them through.

  • Keep your resolutions simple. Many people want to completely change their lifestyle. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to change things about yourself, it can be difficult to take on a large task such as changing your lifestyle. It’s better to break things down into smaller steps and portions.
  • Give yourself deadlines. By breaking down your goals and giving yourself deadlines, you’re more likely going to follow through. It’s also helpful to use actual dates. For example: I will read one book by February 1, 2019. When your deadline is vague, it is easier to not follow through.
  • Write things down. Keep a journal, or use a calendar. You’re more likely to follow through and keep yourself accountable when you write things down.
  • Be realistic. Don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone. If you are someone that doesn’t exercise at all, it isn’t realistic to set the goal that you’ll work out every single day. You can have a big goal, but break it down into pieces. Keeping deadlines is helpful with this. For example, say you want to work out two days a week in January, and then step it up to three days a week in February.
  • Keep track of your progress. This will help you stay focused and motivate you to keep going.
  • Remember to be positive and kind to yourself. Negative thoughts and self doubt will quickly shut you down and keep you from reaching your goals. “You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.”

How to Get Help in San Jose/Los Gatos

The Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center in Silicon Valley (San Jose/Los Gatos) specializes in therapy and counseling with adults, children and teenagers. Call us in Los Gatos at (408) 384-8404 or Click to send an email for more information on how we can help you or your family members improve your outlook.

Silicon Valley Communities We Serve

Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center of Silicon Valley offers evidence-based therapy for Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder near the following Silicon Valley/San Jose communities:

San Jose Therapy Counseling • Saratoga Therapy Counseling • Los Gatos Therapy Counseling • Monte Sereno Therapy Counseling • Cupertino Therapy Counseling • Campbell Therapy Counseling • Mountain View Therapy Counseling • Los Altos Therapy Counseling • Sunnyvale Therapy Counseling • Santa Clara Therapy Counseling

CONTACT US
Saratoga: (408) 384-8404
Click to send an email

0 Categories : Mindfulness, Motivation, Positive Psychology
Apr
11

The Boy Whose Dreams Came True

by Laura Johnson

Here’s a letter one of male teen clients wrote after successful completion of cognitive behavior therapy. It’s a very motivating letter for all ages even adults!

Dear Self,

The engine of my car rumbled when I came here, but the funny thing was that I didn’t even know where I was going. Then my parents said “Remember those scary pictures the kids showed you and you were very scared about that?” and I said “Yeah…” Then they said “we’re going to do something about that so we’re going to take you to a therapist to deal with that and not be scared about them anymore.”

I had a lot of fears about looking at the pictures because if my parents said I was scared, I knew at some point I’d see those pictures again. I thought Saryna would be very mean, and I didn’t want to have to be one of those people lying down on the couch just talking. I was totally unready at first. I just didn’t want to be here when we started talking. Once we came up with the hierarchy list, I was completely not ready for doing anything on that list. For the first few times we did the hierarchy, I thought I could do them, but I knew I couldn’t do anything above a level 5. Especially with a level 10, I would have run away. But the third time I was here, we already started and I said “It was no big deal” afterwards. After that, I knew I could definitely get through all of these. If I were to do the highest thing on the hierarchy list then, I would have never came back here again. Currently, I am 11 years old and I can look at one of the scariest pictures in the world.

“Just do it. Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Just do it.”
This is the quote you should think about when something that you have great anxiety around happens.

The practices here were like the practices I did for the multiplication test I had in 3rd grade. I was practicing my multiplication tables with my mom every day. The day I took the test, I got a really good score – almost 100%. This reminds me of now and the whole year I was here. At the beginning, I was so scared to see the pictures. Now, it’s like the day I took the test. I may have a little anxiety when I see the pictures, but I can do it easily.

I learned that sometimes I go turtle speed and sometimes I go rabbit speed. Just like a band aid, if you go really slow to take it off, it’s really painful. But if you go really fast, it hurts too. If you go at the right speed, it doesn’t hurt as much. I realized this is my own speed. It’s my speed that helps me do things and doesn’t make me scared.

My fear was that I couldn’t handle myself in the dark, and I was constantly waking up and going to my parents’ bed. It has probably been a year and when I compare my new self with my old self, you can see a huge difference in my levels of anxiety.

There were two ways I realized my brain was tricking me. Recently, I have had many bloody noses in the middle of the night and whenever I had them I would usually depend on my parents to stop the bleeding and take care of it, and then I would go to their bed because I was awake and scared. But the latest one I’ve had was a very surprising experience because I handled the bleeding and my nose all by myself, and once I was done, I realized I didn’t need my parents to do it.
My brain was tricking me about that. I was really proud of myself after that happened because my brain would trick me all the time. Another reason why I learned my brain was tricking me, each time we looked at a cut up picture of the characters I was scared of, I realized I was willing to bring it closer to me. From that, I realized my brain was tricking me to be constantly cautious without being willing to try anything uncertain.

So that’s why I have created a character of my own called Mr. Muntz. Mr. Muntz helped me realize every time my brain kept saying “no you can’t do this!” That’s what Mr. Muntz would be saying. So to prevent that from happening, I created another character called Homeyeggagetasaurous Rex. Homeyeggagetasaurous Rex was a combined character of all of my favorite people and fantasy and real life. When I thought of Homeyeggagetasaurous Rex, it helped me realize that I can conquer whatever Mr. Muntz told me because the reckless dinosaur I created helped me think of a silly, cool, and strong personality of myself and I wouldn’t need to worry about anything that I’ve done or will be doing that would make me feel scared and have a really high anxiety level.

So as you can see, you can always try even if you’re scared of doing it. As I said, you should listen to the quote “Just do it. Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Just do it.” so that you can focus on the happy time and not let your worries control you.

Sincerely,
The Boy Whose Dreams Came True

0 Categories : Anxiety, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), Motivation, Uncategorized
Jun
4

Book Review: Same Time Next Week

by Laura Johnson

Stories of Hope and Resilience in Mental Health

Read Laura Johnson’s book review of “Same Time Next Week” on Positive Psychology New Daily:

http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/laura-lc-johnson/2015060331717

How to Get Help for Anxiety, OCD and Anxiety-Related Problems

The Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center of Silicon Valley and Sacramento Valley specializes in Anxiety, OCD and Anxiety-Related Problems in adults, children and teenagers. We have two convenient locations to serve you.

The Silicon Valley office in Saratoga serves the Santa Clara County communities of San Jose, Saratoga, Mountain View, Santa Clara, Sunnyvale, Los Gatos, Los Altos, Palo Alto, Cupertino, Campbell and surrounding areas.

The Sacramento Valley office in Roseville serves the Placer County and Sacramento County communities of Sacramento, Roseville, Rocklin, Granite Bay, Lincoln, Folsom, Citrus Heights, El Dorado Hills, Loomis, Auburn, Penryn, Grass Valley, Colfax and surrounding areas.

Email us for more information on how we can help you overcome your anxiety-related problems.

0 Categories : Anxiety, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), Motivation, OCD, Positive Psychology
May
5

Are You Ready to Change?

by Laura Johnson

Stage of Change and Motivational InterviewingWhen you show up for therapy, it’s natural to assume you are ready to change, right? Otherwise, why would you be paying a therapist to help you work toward a solution? However, sometimes after a few sessions, you may find your motivation is uneven and you aren’t sure you want to do the work involved in getting better and changing your life. That’s where an innovative style of counseling called Motivational Interviewing can help you move through the stages of change.

Stages of Change

If you are wondering what’s going on and asking yourself, “Why aren’t I doing the things I know I need to do to get better?,” then you are perfectly normal. Research indicates there are five stages that indicate readiness for change and most people move between them when working on achieving any goal. The five stages of change are:

  1. Pre-contemplation – you have no intention to take action and may be uninformed about the consequences of your behavior. This is also called “denial” in ordinary language.
  2. Contemplation – you become aware a problem exists and intend to change but have not yet made a commitment to take action.
  3. Preparation – you are intending to take action in the next month, may have already tried to change, and may have a plan of action in mind.
  4. Action – you are beginning to make overt behavioral or environmental changes.
  5. Maintenance – you are working to prevent relapse and maintain gains.

Strategies Need to Match the Stage You Are In

Most clients, when they first see a professional, are not at the action stage. About 80% are in one of the first three stages and only 20% are in action or maintenance. Resistance to change arises when you and the therapist assume you are in the action stage and start making an action plan to get things done when, in reality, you are not there yet. Instead, it would be better to take a less aggressive approach, acknowledge what stage you are in, and modify homework assignments accordingly.

What Can You Do to Increase Your Readiness to Change?

There is a counseling approach called Motivational Interviewing (MI) that is defined as a “client-centered, directive method for enhancing intrinsic motivation to change by exploring and resolving ambivalence.” In Motivational Interviewing, ambivalence is regarded as a normal part of the change process. MI can increase motivation in the early stages by helping you understand why you want to change. MI can then be followed with cognitive behavioral exercises in the action stage to help you acquire the skills for change.

Principles of Motivational Interviewing

One of the major goals of MI is to help you start thinking about and talking about change before taking action. Talking about your desire and intent to change can be a powerful predictor of change. There are 4 major strategies that the counselor uses to encourage change talk:

  1. Expressing empathy – using reflective listening to convey understanding of your message.
  2. Developing discrepancy – between the your most deeply held values and the current behavior you want to change.
  3. Supporting self-efficacy – building confidence that change is possible.
  4. Rolling with resistance – meeting resistance with reflection rather than confrontation.
Getting Started with the Process of Change

So even if you are not yet in the action stage, Motivational Interviewing can get you ready for change. If you are interested in reaching a goal this year, maybe the best way to do so is to start with Motivational Interviewing.

How to Get Help in Saratoga/San Jose

The Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center of Silicon Valley offers Motivational Interviewing as a precursor to engaging in action-oriented CBT. The Cognitive Behavior Therapy Center is located at 12961 Village Drive in Saratoga. We are just a 1/2 mile from Highway 85 and the Saratoga Avenue exit. You can contact us (408) 384-8404 for mrs information about how we can help you start the process of change.

0 Categories : Anxiety, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Motivation
Apr
22

Resilience: The Art of Bouncing Back

by Laura Johnson

Definition of Resilience: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

 

What is Resilience?

Bounce BackResilience is the process of adapting positively in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems,  health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences.

Being resilient does not mean that you don’t experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain and sadness are common if you have suffered a major adversity or trauma in your life. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress. Many people suffer adverse events and have come out stronger as a result but that can be hard to see when you are in the midst of suffering.

Factors in Resilience

Resilience is not a trait that you either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone. A combination of factors contributes to resilience. Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience. Several additional factors are associated with resilience:

  • A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.
  • The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
  • Skills in communication and problem solving.
  • The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.

Bouncing Back from Failure7 ways to build resilience

  1. Connect with others. Form good relationships with close family members, friends and others. Accept help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you. Being active in community groups and church, temple or synagogue and volunteering to help other less fortunate can provide social support and help you with reclaiming hope.
  2. Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Develop confidence in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.
  3. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion and seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events.
  4. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Accept circumstances that cannot be changed and focus on situations you can alter. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”
  5. Take positive, decisive actions. You probably have more influence that you think. Take action in the face of negative situations as much as you can, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.
  6. Find opportunities for growth. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.
  7. Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

Get Started with Building your Resilience Muscle

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from tough situations and to avoid becoming a victim of helplessness. Being resilient can help you manage stress, lower your chances of depression, and it has even been proven to help people live longer. You may feel like you’ve had so much bad luck that it’s impossible to come out strong. Once you learn to seize your life by the reins and prepare for the unexpected, you’ll be on your way to being a more resilient person — and to living a happier, more purpose-filled life as a result. Use the steps above to get started.

 

0 Categories : Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Motivation, Uncategorized
Jun
8

Practice Makes Permanent

by Laura Johnson

Practice makes permanentWhen potential new clients call me, they often ask if cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) works and what the success rate is. I say, “It depends on your motivation level and whether you are willing to practice the skills in between sessions.”

Fitness for the Brain
CBT is fitness for the brain. There are many different skills you can learn, like mindfulness, awareness of emotions and thoughts, identifying thinking traps, realistic thinking, decatastrophizing, reducing vulnerability to negative emotions, and acceptance, to name just a few. You can pick up a self help book and learn what these skills are and how to do them by yourself. However, most people don’t. They want my guidance in how to apply these skills to their own situations.

CBT is Not Magic
Sometimes, however, people think there is a magic bullet. They hope if they visit a therapist’s office that the therapist will have a magical way to change their brain without them having to do anything differently. This isn’t how CBT works.

CBT is Active and Collaborative
CBT is a collaborative and active process whereby the therapist helps you to become aware of your thinking and behavioral patterns and, together, you and your therapist identify strategies and tools that can help. Then it is your job in between sessions to practice the skills everyday. You may only see your therapist for one hour a week but there are 167 additional hours in a week for you to practice your skills. Like with physical exercise, if you only workout once a week, your fitness level may improve but it will be limited. However, if you work out a little bit everyday, your fitness level will soar.

CBT Requires Practice
In CBT, “practice” refers to repeating a cognitive or behavioral skill again and again over time. It begins with the intentional rehearsal of the new skill. At this stage, practice is conscious and takes effort. It is not yet natural. You have to remember to use the skill and you may need to read a notecard or write things down in order to remember what to do. Later, as the skill becomes part of your memory, you may start to use the skill more naturally and unconsciously. The quality of your practice and your knowledge base will largely determine the outcome of each practice session.

The old adage that “practice makes perfect” is rarely true. It is very possible to practice the same skill repeatedly with no increase in achievement or accuracy of application. Think of the people you know who have been driving, cooking, or even teaching for many years with no improvement in their skills. Why is this? How is it possible for one to continually practice a skill with no resulting improvement in performance?

What Makes for Successful Practice?
For practice to improve performance, four conditions must be met:
1. You must be sufficiently motivated to want to improve performance. If you have not attached meaning to learning the new skill, then your motivation will be low.
2. You must have the knowledge necessary to understand the different ways that the new skill can be applied.
3. You must understand how to apply the new skill to deal with a specific situation.
4. You must be able to analyze the results of that application and know what needs to be changed to improve performance in the future.

Guided Practice Helps
Practice may not make perfect, but it does make permanent, thereby aiding in the retention of learning. Consequently, we want to ensure that you practice the new skill correctly from the beginning. Early practice that is done in the presence of a therapist (referred to as guided practice) can offer immediate and corrective feedback to help you analyze and improve your practice. When the practice is correct, the therapist can then assign independent practice (usually homework) in which you can rehearse the skill on your own to enhance learning and retention.

Short-Term and Long-Term Practice
Effective practice starts with massed practice for fast learning and proceeds to distributed practice over a longer term time frame for retention and automatic recall. Practicing a new skill during time periods that are very close together is called massed practice. This produces fast learning, as when one mentally rehearses a multiplication table. Immediate memory is involved here, and the information can fade in seconds if it is not rehearsed quickly. Cramming for an exam is an example of massed practice. Material can be quickly chunked into working memory, but can also be quickly dropped or forgotten if more sustained practice does not follow soon. This happens because the material has no further meaning, and thus the need for long-term retention disappears.

Sustained practice over time, called distributed practice, is the key to retention. If you want to remember a multiplication table later on, you will need to use it repeatedly over time. Thus, practice that is distributed over longer periods of time sustains meaning and consolidates the learnings into long-term storage in a form that will ensure accurate recall and applications in the future.

0 Categories : Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Motivation
Mar
31

Be Good or Get Better?

by Laura Johnson

carrying computer up hillAre You Focused on Learning to Be The Best or Trying to Prove You Already Are?

“Be Good” goals are about proving yourself (being good). When you are striving to “be good,” you are focused on showing yourself and others that you are already completely competent. You are focused on the end result of your performance and showing everyone that you are already the best at whatever you are doing. Mistakes are awful because they contradict the image of yourself as perfect. In contrast, “Get Better” goals are about improving yourself (getting better). When you are focused on getting better, you are interested in learning and growth. You are okay with making mistakes because you know that you don’t know everything. Mistakes are seen as opportunities to learn.

“Being Good” Works When Times are Good

Wanting to “be good” is very motivating and can lead to excellent performance, provided that things don’t get too difficult, according to Heidi Halvorson PhD, author of Succeed. Unfortunately, she says, when the road gets rocky, people who are focused on proving themselves tend to conclude that they don’t have what it takes and give up too soon.

“Getting Better” is Better When You Face Challenges

When we focus on getting better, we take face difficulty with greater calm and use the experience from our learnings to fuel our improvement. Halvorson has found that people who pursue growth often turn in the best performances because they are more resilient in the face of challenges.

“Getting Better” Helps You Enjoy the Journey

sun over umbrellasWhen your goal is to get better rather than to be good, you tend to enjoy what you’re doing more and find it more interesting. In other words, you appreciate the journey as much as the destination, says Halvorson. You also engage in deeper, more meaningful processing of information and better planning for the future. You are even more likely to ask for help when you need it, and more likely to truly benefit from it.

“Getting Better” Reduces Anxiety and Depression

If your goals are more about self-growth than self-validation, you will be able to deal with depression and anxiety in more productive ways. Feeling bad will make you get up and take action to solve your problems, rather than just lie around and feel sorry for yourself. Not surprisingly,  you will be less depressed than other people who are constantly trying to prove they are capable and worthy, says Halvorson.

Try to Focus on “Getting Better”

The bottom line is, whenever possible, try to turn your goals from being good to getting better. Rather than complain about all the ways in which you, your job or your relationships aren’t perfect, focus on all the ways in which they are going well and can be improved. At work and at school, focus on expanding your skills and taking on new challenges rather than impressing everyone with how smart and knowledgeable you are. When your emphasis is on what there is to learn rather than what there is to prove, you will be a lot happier and will achieve a lot more.

Adapted from Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals by Heidi Halvorson PhD (2010).

0 Categories : Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Motivation
Jan
12

Smaller Goals for Bigger Results

by Laura Johnson

Baby Steps Can Lead You Down the Road of Success.

Happy soccer boy w goalSet smaller goals and get bigger results? This might seem counterintuitive to you. And if it does, you are not alone. We’re all used to hearing about stretch goals, and when you feel empowered, stretch goals are inspiring and motivating. But when you feel overwhelmed, stretch goals can create paralysis and result in procrastination. When you set your goals too high, you might find it overwhelming and too time consuming. You just give up or keep on changing your goals instead of slowly and steadily working through the baby steps to a bigger goal.

Setting small goals makes sense from a more-likely-to-succeed perspective. Baby steps help us manage the fear that keeps us from doing the tasks we dislike or that seem too hard. You feel more confident pursuing smaller goals because you know you are going to achieve them. So you do and this soon puts bigger goals within reach. Setting and reaching small goals sets up a positive snowball effect. Small goals will give you small successes and that will motivate you to continue.

Keep in mind that goal setting isn’t all about success – there will be setbacks. You need to anticipate failure (like gaining a pound after you’ve lost two), so you don’t end up getting derailed and quitting. This is why small goals are preferable because you can measure achievement and the setbacks don’t knock you down so harshly.

When you give up early, it’s likely your goals were too big in the first place. Most people never reach their biggest goals because they can’t stick to them in the beginning. The first 30 to 60 days are key to long term success. That is when you are more likely to put in the hard work to get to a new or different result. You need to put in twice the work in the beginning because you are starting a new habit and breaking an old one at the same time.

The key is to start small with baby steps, achieve some early wins and build your confidence to keep moving forward. When you set small goals, three powerful things happen:

  • You achieve the small goals on your list pretty quickly.
  • You see yourself making regular progress and this is reinforcing.
  • You gain the courage to pursue bigger goals and you keep on working.

Reaching a big goal involves conquering a series of smaller goals. If you’ve tried to reach big goals in the past and failed, don’t give up. Try re-starting this year with smaller goals using the following steps:

  1. Man climbing stepsDream big, execute small. Figure out what it is you want to accomplish. Pick something that is really important to you. Identify why you want to accomplish this goal and what benefits it will have for you. This might be a big long-term goal, but it can help get you started with setting your short-term, smaller goals.
  2. Break up your major goal into smaller, more manageable parts. You are more likely to make your dream come true this way. If your big goal is to walk/jog a half-marathon in September, break it down into baby steps. The small steps could be walk around the block three times this week, hike half a mile walk with my partner, jog one block, etc. Before you know it, you’ll be jogging around the high school track and feeling really good about yourself.
  3. Stay focused on the present. If your brain starts thinking about the big goal that is 6 months or a year into the future, you will start feeling overwhelmed and fearful or you may have negative thoughts that make you feel like giving up. Instead, use mindfulness to bring your brain back to the small goal that you can realistically achieve in the short-term. Remember, even the highest achievers started with small steps.
  4. Be positive. Say “I will” rather than “I won’t.” Negative goals make you feel deprived instead of making you feel good about your successes. Instead of saying, “I won’t eat chocolate,” tell yourself, “I will eat vegetables with dinner.”
  5. Make goals short term and specific. Most small goals can have a set deadline or at least a general timeframe. Specify exactly what you plan to do by tomorrow or next week. Say “I’m going to walk 15 minutes after dinner two evenings this week,” rather than “I’m going to exercise.”
  6. Measure and track. Use a calendar to track your progress in a visible way. Write down and check off every time you complete a small goal. At the end of the month, you will be surprised and proud at how much you got done.
  7. Be realistic. Set a realistic amount of small goals. Even small goals take time and effort. In order to achieve long-term success, you have to find small goals you can live with and incorporate into your daily schedule.
  8. Celebrate and reward yourself. Recognize each small victory. They are your building blocks for long-term success. Sometimes people don’t feel worthy of celebrating a small achievement. You might say, “That was no big deal,” or “It was too easy.” However, you are more likely to stay motivated if you think positive and recognize small successes.

Good luck reaching your goals this year. Make 2013 the year of small goals with big results.

0 Categories : Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Motivation