Making Mindful Choices

What is Mood-Dependent Behavior?

Mood-dependent behavior is when you act on a feeling or an urge without pausing to consider the consequences or whether the behavior is appropriate to the situation. Often, mood-dependent behaviors will feel automatic and like they happen too quickly for you to have a choice. Mood-dependent behaviors may seem out of your control and difficult to change because of the powerful underlying emotions and negative thoughts driving them.

When you are engaging in a mood-dependent behavior, you are acting on your underlying emotional state. For example, if you feel depressed, you do not get out of bed or you cancel plans with friends. If you have a craving for ice cream, you eat a pint for dinner, even though you are trying to lose weight. If you are irritable, you snap at your kids for no real reason or you nit pic your partner until it turns into a full-blown argument. Later on, when the mood has passed, you may feel guilt and shame about your actions. In the moment, however, you acted on your emotions without thinking because it would have been too uncomfortable to pause and practice tolerating the discomfort of a craving or being present with a negative emotions. Instead, you chose an action that can instantly bring some relief to your emotion, such as distracting from the emotion or giving in to it. It feels better in the short run but hurts you in the medium to long term.

You are not doomed to a life of engaging in mood-dependent behaviors. Instead, you can learn to practice mindful, strategic behaviors that will help you with managing your emotions and directing your actions toward meaningful goals.

My emotions are too strong. I feel out of control. How can I make Mindful Choices?

Mindful, strategic behaviors involve increasing awareness of your emotional state in the present moment and responding to situations more deliberately. This means taking the time to pause and ask yourself if how you are about to respond in the moment is going to really get you what you want. Is what you are about to do going to move you in the direction of your valued-based goals and dreams, or is it a mood-dependent response that may be counterproductive to your most cherished goals? In other words, how likely is it that you are going to regret how you are about to act?

In order to engage in mindful, strategic behavior, try breaking down the situation into the following components:

• What is the environmental prompt? Exactly what is happening in the moment that is urging you to respond?
• What is your internal mood?
• What is your short-term objective/goal?
• What is your long-term objective/goal?
• What behavior (action) will lead to accomplishing your goal?
• If you choose to follow your mood in this moment, will it interfere with or enhance your objectives/goal attainment?

While this type of problem-solving may seem self-evident, consider how easy it is to slip into the habit of engaging in mood-dependent behavior instead of mindful behavior. Quite often, an intense emotional state makes it seem difficult, or even “impossible,” to mindfully choose alternate (mindful) behaviors. While it may feel this way in the moment, it is possible to choose mindful behavioral responses over mood-dependent ones. The trick is choosing to practice emotional regulation strategies and mindfulness practices with greater frequency, so that it becomes more natural to approach your mood states more deliberately.

Mood-Dependent Behavior

• Chosen entirely based on whatever your current mood happens to be.
• At the whim of your internal emotional state.
• Not mindfully chosen… reactive and impulsive.
• Little to no consideration for consequences/effects on other people.

Mindful Behavior

• Guided by your heartfelt values and goals.
• Intentional, deliberate, and strategic.
• Careful, thoughtful consideration given to future consequences and the effects on other people.
• Responsive, not reactive… using “wise mind.”

When you take a moment to reflect on how you typically respond to your emotional states in the moment, do you notice that you have a tendency to gravitate toward mood-dependent or mindful behaviors more often? Take the time to consider the consequences that various courses of action have on your well-being, relationships, and pursuit of your goals. If you believe that you may benefit from using mindfulness and emotion regulation coping skills, make a commitment to yourself that you will begin to integrate these practices into your daily life.

A great way to learn Mindfulness in as little as 10 minutes a day is through the Headpsace mindfulness program. Click here to Get Some Headspace. Just remember that mindfulness is a journey, not a destination. Be patient.