Definition of Resilience: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the process of adapting positively in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems,  health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences.

Being resilient does not mean that you don’t experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain and sadness are common if you have suffered a major adversity or trauma in your life. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress. Many people suffer adverse events and have come out stronger as a result but that can be hard to see when you are in the midst of suffering.

Factors in Resilience

Resilience is not a trait that you either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone. A combination of factors contributes to resilience. Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience. Several additional factors are associated with resilience:

• A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.
• The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
• Skills in communication and problem solving.
• The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.

7 ways to build resilience

1. Connect with others. Form good relationships with close family members, friends and others. Accept help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you. Being active in community groups and church, temple or synagogue and volunteering to help other less fortunate can provide social support and help you with reclaiming hope.
2. Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Develop confidence in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.
3. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion and seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events.
4. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Accept circumstances that cannot be changed and focus on situations you can alter. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”
5. Take positive, decisive actions. You probably have more influence that you think. Take action in the face of negative situations as much as you can, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.
6. Find opportunities for growth. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.
7. Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

Get Started with Building your Resilience Muscle

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from tough situations and to avoid becoming a victim of helplessness. Being resilient can help you manage stress, lower your chances of depression, and it has even been proven to help people live longer. You may feel like you’ve had so much bad luck that it’s impossible to come out strong. Once you learn to seize your life by the reins and prepare for the unexpected, you’ll be on your way to being a more resilient person — and to living a happier, more purpose-filled life as a result. Use the steps above to get started.